Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
