I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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