I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
NoShamevember. You game?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
