I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'm getting married
To pizza
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
