Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
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