he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
