I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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