Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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