I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
