im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
