people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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