Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
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