Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
