your parents love me but you hate me
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
