How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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