what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
