He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
