The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Use "feeling words"
Yay
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
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