Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
