her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
