People with herpes should wear stickers.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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