Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
