Can Purell be used as lube?
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
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