but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize