Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
You made out with two different species that night
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
