I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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