He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
