he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
