my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
of course. lets lasso hookers.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
