As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize