Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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