I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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