what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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