She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
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