Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
home. puking in laundry basket.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
