I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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