Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
