I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
