New low: just hacked my moms facebook
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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