I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
