Non-Jews are for practice
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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