I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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