I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
