Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
