Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize