hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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