Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
