well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
