just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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