Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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