Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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