Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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