Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
