I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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