According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I wish there were birth control emojis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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