Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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