She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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