I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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