Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
