i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize